Drunk Skyrim Guy's Ridiculous Twitter Thread Is Absolute Madness

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mattstaff
Apr 7, 2018 8:00 PM EDT

Now THAT is role playing. Job well done, sir. 

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  • 01
    Text - Karl Smallwood @KarlSmallwood 22h I'm bored, so I'm going to get drunk, make a character on Skyrim called Hayley Williams and do nothing but rip the wings off of butterflys. 2 Karl Smallwood @KarlSmallwood 22h I've been unable to track down any butterflys, but I did find a human heart, which I promptly ate in front of the first person I found. Karl Smallwood @KarlSmallwood 22h I've also stolen 16 cabbages and thrown them into a river, because wanted to see if it would attract deer It didn
    via @KarlSmallwood
  • 02
    Text - Karl Smallwood @KarlSmallwood 22h They're just floating there like assholes. View more photos and videos Karl Smallwood @KarlSmallwood 22h I've finally managed to track down a butterfly. I stalked it for several minutes before carefully burning everything in sight.
    via @KarlSmallwood
  • 03
    Text - Karl Smallwood @KarlSmallwood 22h Plot twist: Butterflies are fucking fireproof! Monbr Butterlly lames 3 View more photos and videos Karl Smallwood@KarlSmallwood 22h New plan of attack, harvest every plant I find and eat the fuck out of it, cutting off the butterfly's food supply. 1 3
    via @KarlSmallwood
  • 04
    Text - Karl Smallwood @KarlSmallwood 21h I decided to skin the wolf and dump its pelt with the cabbages. View more photos and videos Karl Smallwood @KariSmallwood 21h Some of the cabbages appear to be missing, I suspect, but cannot prove that it was deer. 2
    via @KarlSmallwood
  • 05
    Text - Karl Smallwood@KarlSmallwood 22h I've eaten six thistle bushes and a lavender plant, your move, butterfly. 3 Karl Smallwood @KarlSmallwood 21h The butterfly apparently decided to summon wolves. Which I promptly set on fire. lemes 2 View more photos and videos
    via @KarlSmallwood
  • 06
    Text - Karl Smallwood @KarlSmallwood 21h Fucking deer. 1 Karl Smallwood @KariSmallwood 21h Actually it looks like they floated down river and got stuck against a log. Cabbages are fucking dumbasses. Karl Smallwood @KarlSmallwood 21h Holy shit, there are like 10 butterflies just floating around some asshole's farm. 1 Karl Smallwood@KarlSmallwood 21h My guess is that after I stole his cabbages, the butterflies knew he was fair game and moved in. Fuck that noise, I'm going in. 2
    via @KarlSmallwood
  • 07
    Text - Karl Smallwood @KarlSmallwood 21h I may have accidentally bludgeoned two farm hands to death in the melee but I got my god damn butterfly wings. Bue Buther fly Wing (10) Buttefy Wing (14) BUTTERFLY WING (14) WEIGHT 0.1 E 3 UKMOWN UNENOWN View more photos and videos Karl Smallwood @KarlSmallwood 21h Would anyone like to take a guess where they're going? 1
    via @KarlSmallwood
  • 08
    Text - Karl Smallwood @KarlSmallwood 21h THE FUCKING RIVER! 1 View more photos and videos Karl Smallwood @KariSmallwood 21h The wings all floated down river and got stuck on that same log. This just won't do o
    via @KarlSmallwood
  • 09
    Text - Karl Smallwood @KarlSmallwood 21h I used the wings to make a crudely drawn dong. That'll show nature who's boss. Karl Smallwood KarlSmallwood 21h I'm now in the process of making my character wait for an entire week while staring straight at the dong so that they may bask in its glory. Karl Smallwood @KarlSmallwood 21h This got weird fast. 1
    via @KarlSmallwood
  • 10
    Text - Karl Smallwood @KariSmallwood 21h While waiting I was attacked by bandits, died and then lost my wonderful butterfly wing dong. This is more upsetting than I thought it'd be. Karl Smallwood @KariSmallwood 21h Butterfly Wing Dong would be an awesome name for a Chinese gangster with two dicks. Karl Smallwood @KarlSmallwood 21h Of course he'd have to get matching tattoos on both of them if he wanted to really sell folks on the name, but that's his business, not mine 1 Karl Smallwood @KarlSma
    via @KarlSmallwood

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